Whoa whoa whoa…

Let’s just say these last two weeks have kind of left my head spinning. With friends visiting, Vacation Bible School, housesitting, being in the hospital room as a relative passed away, a farewell party for a friend, a surprise 50^th birthday party in Vancouver, a funeral in Kelowna, and now preparing for my last week of work to get everything finished.

Disappointing to come out of that and realize how I slacked off in my daily time with the Lord. God is good, and there is no doubt I experienced His faithfulness in many of the situations over the last few weeks, but I’m bummed out that I didn’t make Him my priority amidst it all.

When we were coming home from Kelowna (aka – Smokey town), I had a chance to stand on the ferry deck alone to process and reflect. Somehow, I had gotten on the ferry, grabbed a cup of tea – all without realizing that I was actually by the ocean again and away from the overpowering smokey and smoggy air. As I got up to grab my second cup of tea, I glanced out the window and was overcome with emotion to see a glimpse of blue sky and the rolling ocean waves. Ha, I had to laugh that I was so touched to see the ocean again after being away for only 4 days.

I dashed out to the deck to witness a most spectacular sunset as the sun was a burning red amidst the smokey sky, and the mountains were a backdrop of a variety of shades of blue. I tried to capture those beautiful shots with my camera, but to no avail, because I realized – while some photos can say a thousand words, most photos can never truly capture the magnificence of God’s phenomenal creation.

Feeling almost like a failure for the little time I’d spent with the Lord recently, I felt His grace saying “it’s okay”, and the blessing to enjoy the solitude with Him as we sailed over the Pacific. I then realized how much the ocean feels like ‘home’ to me.

“Home is where the heart is.”

When I think about what is ‘home’ to me, I definitely think of my family – the moment I walk into our home or the presence of my family, I can sigh with relief and happiness as I have the freedom to completely be myself. Capernwray became a second home, partially for the wonderful friends who I shared a year of fun and growth with, as well as having the ocean on my doorstep. Home is also there when I’m with some of my great friends, my heart just becomes ‘right’ when I’m with them as I laugh, can share my heart, and feel the freedom of having no particular expecations on myself with them. Home is that glimpse of the ocean when I’ve been gone months at school, or when I sit on the shore after a crummy day, and all seems well again after breathing in that salty air.

But as I stood on the deck of the ferry Wednesday evening, all my heart wanted was to have that ‘homey’ sense with the Lord. No matter where the adventures of life lead, or the family and friends that will come and go – I just pray that I will always have that sense of being home as I have the Lord by my side.

The memorial service in Kelowna for my great-uncle was a great reminder of loving the Lord and serving Him wholeheartedly all the days of our lives. My great-uncle Bill was a godly man, who has left a legacy of following the Lord, and I hope that I will do the same.

Prayers for the rest of this month as I get ready for school would be great. Jeff and Antonia will be home in a little over a week, Scott's wedding is coming up, and school is on the horizon - so it shall be a busy month.

Also, I was scanning through all my old posts and realized there were some posts that were never posted! Oh the insanity – thus, I just posted two posts from sometime over the 3 years and they are now officially available on this blog! If you find which ones they are, I’ll buy you a coffee. Just kidding, you don’t need to go back and find them. However, this puts my post count only at 96, so I have plenty of time to think more about the great 100^th post.